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May 31, 1963     Catholic Northwest Progress
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May 31, 1963
 

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Friday, My 31, 1963 THE PROGRESSuS n EckhaH Insights To Zen Catholicism eMANY readers of this column suffer through my bleatings to be certain they do not miss any of the very good guest columns that review for us from time to time. Their patience is again re- arded, as Mr. Raymond Si- erius is that "raris avis,' the racticing attorney with ex- panded interests. One of his particular interests, and one in which he is earning a well de- served reputation, is the field of Oriental religious thought. He is eminently qualified to re- view any such book on that subject, as for example the tel- lewing. "ZEN CATHOLICISM,," by Dam Aelred Graham, O.S.B., Harcourt, Brace & World, Inc. The Epistle for the Fifth Sunday after Easter tplaeed before us an ideal: "... You are to live by the word, not content merely to listen to it." Pope John XXIII declared re- cently that the teachings of the Church on vital questions should receive an inward re- sponse from Catholics and should not remain 'pronounce- " t " ments wzthout effec. Dam Aelred Graham, Bene- dictine monk, educator and writer, advocates impressing upon the faithful the reality be- hind the words of the cate- chism, and suggests that we might borrow from Zen an in- sight helpful in evoking the necessary inward response. e Zen is not definable, other than that it is an attitude of di- rectness and simplicity, born of an awareness of one's own nature. "What is of interest from By JOHN J. ECKHART the Christian's standpoint is that Zen is not a theology; it has nothing to tell us about a supernatural revelation, noth- ing therefore that needs to be 'corrected.' Zen is not a philosophy; it does not have to be debated with or con- vieted of errors. Its expon- ents will tell you that, in a profoundly literal sense, there is nothing in it. Perhaps the best description is that con- veyed by a single word--'un- self-consciousness.' " Zen is ultimately an interest not in words but in things. The author encourages in Catholics a healthy recognition that the words of our belief may lead to the reality, but are not in themselves the reality described. "... Some tentative thoughts may be offered with regard to the presentation of the Church's teaching, bound up as it is with the use of words. This is a delicate topic and therefore one not often openly discussed; but the un- derlying theology eou!d not be dearer, and Catholicism's appeal should be enhanced rather than otherwise by a candid facing the facts. "There is some need for it; the experience of many edu caters points to a failure in this area being responsible for the immaturity of much Catholic thinking, and even a wide- spread abandonment of relig- ion. "The question that arises is this: How can an educated and thoughtful Catholic grow in the understanding of his faith when his mind is largely restricted to the Church's creeds and dogmatic formu- las, as presented through the catechism and books of doe- Feature Films On Television Bellingham KING-TV (NBC) Channel 5 KVOS-TV Channel 12 KTRO-TV (CBS) Channel 7 Tacoma Seattle KTNT-TV (CBS) Channel 11 KOMO-'rv (ABC) Channel 4 KTVW-TV Channel 13 MOTION PICTURE CLASSIFICATION BY NATIONAL LEGION OF DECENCY: A.I--Morally Unobjectionable for General Patronage; A-II--Morally Unobjectionable for Adults and Adolescents; A-III--Morally Unobjectionable for Adults; B--MoraUy Objectionable in Part for All; C-Condemned; SC.--Separate Classification; NR--No Rating Available. (Note: The ratings listed below were those given the original movies. Most films before being shown on tele- vision are edited to conform to the television" code and to the individual station's time schedule. For this reason, obiectionable parts contained in the original plot may be deleted in the television version and thus the original Legion rating may not be entirely correct.) SATURDAY, JUNE 1 I.. p m.--KInO.TV--Oupk .Soup. .... :'":":".ii; ............ ::':'::::::"' 2 30 p:m.--KING-TVAnay Haray's Bourne ............ A 4:00 p.m.--KTNT.TV--Pralrle Thur.der .................................. " S 00 m KING TV Newshounds ...... - ................................. AII I 6130 :imiKTVW-TV-overland Telegrapn ................................ 9 00 p.m--KING-TV--RIver of No Return ............................. 10 00 p.m.--KTNT-TV--The alg Shot .................................... A'II 11:00 p.m.KVO$.TVThls Above All .................................. ,'' 11 00 pm.--KIRO-TV--South Sea Woman ................................. '",, 11:05 p.m.--KING-TV--Dlal M for Muraer ................  ............... ':': 11:0S p.m.--KOMO-TVSummer Stock .................................... A.t SUNDAY, JUNE 2 12:00 NOOn--KoMo-TV--Poor Little Rich Girl ............................ A.I 2:30 p.m.KVOS-TVTouch and Go .... , ................................ AI 2:30 p m KIRO-TV--WIId Harvest_. ..................................... .:..B. 3:30 p.m.--KING-TV--The Kissing andlt ........... g .................... A-H 4:30 p.m.--KTVW-TV--Chlna Passage .................................... A.[ 4:30 p.m.--KTNT.TV--Torzon, the Fearless .............................. NR 6:00 p.m.--KVOS-TV--Savage Mutiny ..................................... A.I 7:30 p.m.KTNT-TV--Possage to Marsellle .............................. A-II e:00 p.m.KOMO-TVSubway In the Sky .................................. B 11:35 p.m.KING-TV--The Golden Fleeclng .............................. A-I MONDAY, JUNE 3 9:30 a.m.--KOMO-TV--Law of the Barbary Coast ...................... A-II 10:00 a.m.KTVW.TVThey Made Her a Spy ........................... A.II 12:00 Noon--KTVW-TV--The Arlzonlan ................................... NR 2:00 p.m.KTNT-TVI Married a Doctor ............................. A-II 3:30 p.m.--KING-TV--Meet the People ................................... A'II 5:30 p.m.--KVOS.TVSangaree ............................................. 7:3g pm.KING-TV--The Bravados ...................................... A.II 10:00 p.m.--KTNT-TV--Colorodo Terr tory ................................... B 10:15 p.m.KTVW-TV--Honeymoon ........... , ............................ A.I I 11:00 p.m.KVOS-TV--Mary of Scotland .................................. A-I 11:30 p.m.--KOMO-TV--School for Lave .................................. NR 1:00 a.m.--KTVW-TV--The Falcon In Danger ............................ A- TUESDAY, JUNE 4 9:30 a.m.KOMO-TV--Glamour Girl .................................... B 10:00 a.m.KTVW-TV--We're Only Human ............................... A.II 12:00 Noon.--KTVW-TV--Honeymoon ...................................... A-II 2:00 p.m.--KTNT-TV--Colorade TerritorY .................................. a 3:30 p.m.--KING-TV--LIbeled Lady ........................................ e 5:30 p m.KVOS-TV--Ghost Diver ........................................ A-! 6:30 p.m.KTVW-TV--Broakfast for Two ................................ A- 10:00 p.m.--KTVW-TVHitting a New High ............................... A-I 10:00 p.m.KTNT-TV--Knockout ......................................... A-II 11:00 p.m.--KVOS-TV--Each Dawn I ale ................................... B 11:30 p.m.KOMO-TV--I Cover the War ................................. A-I 1: a.m.--KTVW-TV--Marlnes Fly High ................................. A- WEDNESDAY, JUNE $ 9:30 a.m.KOMO-TV--AII ay Myself ....................................... e 10:00 a.m.KTVW-TV--Sreakfast for Two ................................ A-I 12:00 Noon.-PKTVW-TV--Hittlng a New High .............................. A-i 2:00 p.m.KTNT-TV--Blues in the Night .................................. a :1:30 p.m.--KING-TV--Lady Be Good (Pad I) .......................... A-II 5:30 p.m.--KVOS-TV--The Brlgand .................................... B 6:30 p.m.--KTVW-TV--The Great Man Votes ............................ A-I 10:00 p.m.--KTVW-TV--Men Against the Sky ............................. A-I 10:30 p.m.--KTNT-TV--The Bowery ........................................ NR 11:00 p.m.--KVOS-TVTIII We Meet Again .............................. A.II 11:30 p.m.--KOMO-TV--BIg City Blues .................................... NR 1:00 e.m.--KTVW-TV--Oangerous Corner ................................. N R THURSDAY, JUNE 6 9:30 a.m.KOMO-TV--What's Cookln' . ................................... A-I 10:0(I a.m.KTVW.TV--Beyond Victory .................................... NR 12:00 Noon--KTVW-TV--The Groat Man Votes ........................... A-I 2:00 p.m.--KTNT-TV--The Bower,/ ....................................... NR 3:30 p.m.KING-TVLady Be Good (Part II) .......................... A.II S:30 p.m.--KVOS-TV--Plunder Road ...................................... A-I 6:30 p.m.--KIRO-TV--The Command ...................................... A.I 10:00 p.m.KTVW-TVLady Luck ........................................ A-II 10:00 p.m.KTNT-TVCall It a Day .................................... A.II 11:00"p.m.KVOS-TV--Father is a Bachelor ............................. A.II 11:30 p.m.--KOMO-TV--FIIght Commander ................................ NR 11:30 p.m.KTVW-TV--Land of the Open Range ... ...................... A-I 1:00 a.m.KTVW-TVConspiracy .., ............... .................... ...A-I FRIDAY, JUNE 7 , 9:30 o.m.KOMO.TV--LOglon of Terror ................................. A-el 10:00 a.m.KTVW-TV--GIrl Rush ........................................... e 12:00 noon--KTVW-TV--Lady Luck ....................................... A-It 2:00 p.m.--,KTNT.TV--Call It a Day ..................................... A-II 3:30 p.m.KING-TV--Llve, Love and Learn ............................ A-II 5:30 p.m.KVOS-TVCrosswlnds ........................................ A-II 6:30 p.m.KTVW-TV--The Informer ..................................... A-II 10:00 p.m.KTVW-TV--I'm Still Alive .................................... A-It 10:30 p.m.--KTNT-TV--The Third Man ................................... A-II 1:00 p.m.--KVOS-TV--The King and Four Queens .; ........................ B 11:30 p.m.--KOMO-TV--The Ship That Died of Shame .................... A-I 1:00 a.m.KTVW.TV--Suodown .......................................... A-II This Review Is Sponsored by Caholic Gifts & Church Goods, Inc. Religious goods for the home, church and school. A pleasant shopping atmosphere wlth a seled variety of rellglou$ gifts. 607 Union St., Seattle I MUtual 2.3929 trinal instruction." What is needed, with the aid of Zen or otherwise, is to get beyond verbal propositions to the reality. In the words of St. Thomas Aquinas: "The believer's act of faith does not terminate in a prop- osition but in a thing" Thus the thought about God does not establish immediate contact with him; God an be reached only through love. "I live, yet no longer I, but Christ lives in me." According to Buddhist doc- trine, the principal source of human trouble--the "holy truth of the origination of ill" is "craving . . . accompanied by delight and greed, seeking its delight now here, now there, that is, craving for sensuous experience, craving to per- petuate oneself, craving for extinction." But the human trouble is caused neither by the delight nor by the sensuous enjoyment, but by carving itself. However necessary it may be to "have one's own way," this is the chief source of trouble. Relief from human distress, the author suggests, is ulti- mately found only by an "en- lightened non-attachment" to the craving itself. This is not necessarily found in asceticism: " . . . It must be kept in mind t h a t aversions, dis- tastes, hatreds, though nega- tive in name, are as much forms of craving, in terms of self-regard, as their opposites. Non-attachment conveys the subtler notion, and one more rarely realized, of both enjoy- ing an experience and not being involved in it." By illustration, the following Zen story is called, "Is That So?" "The Zen master Hakuin was praised hy his neighbors as one living a pure life. "A beautiful Japanese girl whose parents owned a food store lived near him. Suddenly, without warning, her parents discovered she was with child. "This made her parents angry. She would not confess who the man was but after much harassment at last named Hakuin. "in great anger the parents went to the master. 'Is that $ei$ure Without Love By MOST REVEREND FULTON J. SHEEN egging for money without first mak- ing the givers spiritual is a kind of financial rape. It is seizure without love. Catholics may have never thought of it this way, but they instinctively rebel against what they call 'money sermons." They are more right than they know. e Let him pick up St. Paul, who, like every missionary interested in spreading the Faith, had to take up collections. In his appeal to the faithful of Corinth to help the poor and suffering in Jerusalem, he used the word "grace" seven times but the word "money" not once. The whole subject of our fellowship with the Missions was seen as an activity of grace. Grace for him, and for us, is first the Life, Truth and Love in the Trinity; then in Christ, Our Savior; and finally in us, mediated through the Church. e Paul did not say: "Next Sunday there will be a collection for the propagation of the Faith. Please be generous." He said something like this: 'Be devoted to Our Lord, and then you will be devoted to the Missions. If you give yourself to the Lord, you will give what you have; but if you do not love the Sacred Heart, you will only give grudgingly and out of neces- sity." You rebel against "money talks" only if the priest has not tried to awaken love of Christ in your souls before asking, or if you do not have any such love in your heart, even if he does appeal in Christ's Name. O Did you know that the magazine with the largest Catholic circulation in the United States has as its first purpose that of St. Paul, name- ly, to make people holy? It knows that they will then be generous to others. Very fittingly, this magazine does not belong to any one missionary society but to the Holy Father's own Society for the Propagation of the Faith, which aids all missionaries, all societies, all over the world. It never asks anyone to "give" to the Holy Father; it never seeks to help Africa without helping you; it never tries to convert Asia without first making you love Our Lord more. It does speak of "sacrifice," because sacrifice is pain with love--the giving up of something until it hurts because you first love Christ. We will send this magazine to you free (it is called MISSION and already has millions of readers) if you will drop us a note. A "note"? Well, a "bank note" or a "check note," if you please. If that is impossible, a "please" without anything but a prayer that we may all love God more will suffice. Let us hear from you! e GOD LOVE YOU to LJ..P. /or $4.50 "'In thanksgiving to Our Mother of Per- petual Help/or a /avor granted." . . . to E.].B. /or $35 "'My husband's company dinner is this week, but I'd rather wear an old dress and work on a better position in heaven. Use what I would have spent as the Holy Father wishes." . . . to R. M. /or $1 "Instead o spending money on magazines, I have been going to the li- brary to read them. I will try to do this every month and send the money to God's poor." . . . to M.B.M. /or $5 "'My grand- mother gave me this money as a gradua- tion present. I want you to have it /or the children in Asia and A/rico." e Worldmission, a quarterly magazine of mis- sionary activities edited by Most Reverend Ful- ton J. Sheen, is the ideal gift for priests, nuns, seminarians, laymen. Send $5 for a one-year subscription to Worldmission, 366 5th Ave., New York 1, N. Y. e Cut out this column, pin your sacrifices to t and mail it to Most Rev. Fulton J. Sheen, National Director of the Society for the Propa- gation of the Faith, 366 - 5th Ave., New York 1, N. Y., or your Archdiocesan Director, Rev. Stephen Szeman, 907 Terry Avenue, Seattle 4. World Prays for Pope of Peace so?' was all he would say. "After the child was born it was brought to Hakuin. By this time he had lost his repu- tation, which did not trouble him, but he took very good care of the child. He obtained milk from his neighbors and everything else the little one needed. A year later the.girl- mother could s t a n d it no longer. She told her parents the truth--that the real father of the child was a young man who worked in the fish- market. "The mother and father of the girl at once went to Hakuin to ask his forgiveness, to apolo. gize at length, and to get the child back again. "Hakuin was willing. In yielding the child, all he would say was: 'Is that so?' " The practical value of such simplicity and directness can never be underestimated. When Jesus invited his disciples to "consider the lilies how they grow," this was an act of di- rect pointing, the hallmark of gem The author encourages this simplicity and directness in religious teaching: 'It is undesirable to attempt to foster devotion in others by the employment of emotive and highly charged language, suggesting a Sense of strain and a stance of falseness-- suggesting an attitude of blind trust in the face of opposing evidence. " . . . Religious Conviction is not strengthened, or made more persuasive to others, by adventitious emotion; earnest- ness may therefore be left to take care of itself. When we act in accordance with the true self, our integrity and sincerity will be evident." Father Graham states that his book "has no message," but merely suggests that an underlying harmony is discov- erable between the Zen con- cern for seeing into one's own nature and the insights of St. Thomas Aquinas. The result is a fascinating, profound and thought-filled analysis of the harmony of spirit at the heart of religion. (Continued from Page Five) @ Castro Honored Khrushchev w a g g 1 e d his pointing finger and again threatened the U. S. to keep its hands off Cuba or: "We will pulverize you." He warned that even a blockade would p r o v o k e a crisis more formidable than the one last October. "Our prayers are our rockets and the lO0-megaton nuclear bomb. It is these or p e a c e f u I coexistence," he thundered. " T h e r e f o r e, choose." However, he doesn't want to destroy America, he said. If only we entered into peaceful Communist, why then . the competition, or preferably went Soviet Union and the U.S. "would march along together in seven-league boots." But he quickly lapsed into his usual bravado by pledging to come to the aid of Cuba if the U.S. should even dare threaten t h a t stronghold of Communism. Recalls 'Agreement' "If the United States govern- ment does not strictly observe the agreement that has been reached (with President Ken- nedy) and aggravates the sit- uation, we shall have to dis- charge our international duty, our obligations to the fratern- al Cuban people, and come to their assistance," Khrushchev admonished. He failed to say anything about the missiles brought to Cuba or the promised on-site inspection which also was part of the agreement, but which he refused to honor. The only way the Carib- bean situation can be "norm- alized," he said, was for the U.S. to accept Castro's pro- posals, including our sur- render of Guantanamo Naval Base. He declared that the Cuban revolution had "blazed the road of socialism that will be taken by all the peoples of Latin America." Any other questions? Thus, Khrushchev again proclaimed his own Monroe Doctrine of the Western Hemisphere. Castro Speaks The occasion for these re- marks, which really aren't new, was a giant "friendship meeting" held at Lenin Stad- ium in Moscow, and the recep- tion which followed honoring Castro. Khrushchev also awarded him the highest honor, Hero of the Soviet Union. In addi- tion, he was recipient of the Order of Lenin and the Gold Star medal for his "out- standing services in organ- izing the triumphant struggle for freedom and independ- ence of the heroic Cuban people." It has been observed that Castro appeared in the natty uniform he donned a few days after he reached Moscow last April 27. The question now is whether he will dare to wear his olive-green fatigues again TRAVEL SERVICE Tickets Tours Reservations "No Charge for Our Serv;ces." EA. 2-3510 HOLIDAY HOUSE TRAVEL SERVICE 916 East John St., Seattle when he returns home. Calling Khrushchev "d e a r comrade," Castro read from a prepared text and thanked the Soviet Union profusely for hav- ing warned and protected Cuba from the U.S. "imperialists" who wanted to invade his coun- try and are even now black- mailing the Kennedy Adminis- Broadway Disfrict--Cusfomer Paring tration, t'ying to push it into _-.-_-..-v-v-_-v-_--_-_-..,.-_-_..--.; .a war with Cuba. And Nothing Hidden Up The Sleeve This cartoon by Tidings staff cartoonist Jim Knudsen, whose work frequently appears in The Progress, won first prize as the best cartoon printed in a Catholic newspaper in 1962. The award was given at the annual meeting of The Catholic Press Association in Miami. He dredged up all the former accusations he has made against the U.S. but was willing to establish friendly relations with all the American nations, including the U.S., he said. There was no indication when Castro would leave the SUNDAY, JUNE 2 7:00 u.m., Georgetown University For- Soviet Union, but it was hinted that he would go vacationing with Khrushchev for a few days. He will probably slip back home as secretly as he left Cuba last month. Legion Of Decency Listed herb are ratings of the urn, KIXI-Radlo (910 ko.) latest films received by the No. "What Strategy for Disarmament?" tional Legion of Decency. Is today's topic. Discussing It are Dr. Henry W. Forbes, lecturer In In- ternational Relations at George Wash- ington University and outhor of the book "Strategy of Disarmoment", Dr. James D. Atklnson of Georgetown U., and two congressmen, John Marsh Jr., Democrot from Virginia ond Louis C. Wyman, Republloan from New Hamp- shire. 9:15 a.m., Sacred Heart Program, KIRO.TV, Channel 7. "A Christian Is Another Christ" Is the title of today's program. The Rev. Walter J. aur.qhardt, S.J., of Wood* stock College, Md., is the speaker. 10:30 a.m., What's New In the School- house?, KOMO*TV, Chonnel 4. "A New Look In Catholic Sister Training" will be the topic of discus- sion A repeat of the progrom will be broadcast on KOMO-Radlo ot 9 p.m. Mother Mory Phlloethoa, F.C.S.P., doan of the College of Sister Formation of Seottle University ond Rev. John Fifterer, S. J., deon of SU's College of Arts and Science will discuss the Sister Formation. 6:00 p.m., Challenge, KOMO-TV, Chan- nel 4. The role money plays In o religious and spiritual life will be discussed by Rev. William Troacy, Dr. Lynn Corson and Rabbi Raphael Levine. The pro- gram Is re-broadcast on KOMO.Radlo at 10:30 p.m. 7:1$ p.m., Sacred Heart Program, KTVW-TV, Channel 4. The Rev. William S. Faherty, S.J., will answer the questlan "Can there be such a thing as a divine woakness? If God gives us o free will, can He ever Interfere with It or take It away?" 7:30 p.m., Catholic Hour, KING-Radi9 (kc. I00). "Renewal In Teachlnff and Preochng the Word of God" will be discussed by Rev. Gerard S. Sloyan, chairman of the department of religious educa- tion ot the Catholic University of America. First-Run Movies Showing In Seattle A-I--List Of Adrian Messenger. A-2--Yellow Canary. A-3--Hud. B--Island Of Love, Dr. No. Other Movies Currently Showing A-l--Papa's Delicate Condi- tion, How the West Was Won, Jumbo, It's Only Money, Man From Diners' Club, Giant, We'll Bury You, Son Of Flubber. A-2--Miracle Worker, Bird- man of Alcatraz, Lust For Life, David and Lisa, Lawrence of Arabia, House of the Damned, To Kill A Mockingbird, Mutiny On the Bounty, Man Who Shot Eibert Valance, Sayonara, Four Days Of Naples, Sword of the Conqueror, The Lion, Blue Ha- waii( Winchester 73, The Birds, Carousel. A-3--Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?, Term of Trial, Critics, Choice, Live Is A Ball. B--Rhapsody, Candide, Fol- low The Boys, Splendor In the Grass, Island In the Sun. Condemned -- Girl With the Golden Eyes. Separate Classification--Walk On the Wild Side, Eclie. 'Where'sLineBetween Parents 00,.nc Girl? By Rev. John L. Thomas, S.J. Associate Professor, St. Louis University Should a boy think more Of his parents than of the girl he has been dating/or over a year? I'm a junior in college and Bill has three more years o graduate work so there's no thought o/ immediate marriage. We get along very well except on this matter o family loyalties. He eels he should spend a good deal o/ time with his /amily and insists they have a right to expect this. I or. gue that if he really likes me as much as he claims, he would want to spend more time with me. Isn't it possible to remain too attached to one's /amily? Am I wrong in thinking he's immature in this regard? , at * ou've asked several very different questions but I think you have only one major problem. You like Bill and naturally want to associate with him as frequently as possible. He claims he likes you, too, and has shown it by not dating other girls for over a year. On the other hand, he doesn't date you as often as you feel he should because he insists that he must spend a good deal of time at home with his parents and other mem- bers of his family. Considering his age, isn't his sense of loyalty and attachment to his family some- what exaggerated or unbalanced? This is pos- sible, for it is not unknown that some individ. uals are adequately weaned from their parents very late in life, if ever. Nevertheless I don't believe that this is Bill's problem, and I rather suspect that you know it isn't either, though both of you are using the pretext of family loyalties to avoid FATHER having to face the real issue. THOMAS What's the main source of your difficulties? You pointed it out almost in passing, though the fact that you mentioned it suggests that you are not wholly aware of its far-reaching significance. "Bill has three more years of graduate work, so there's no thought of immediate marriage." This simple statement of fact tells us about all we have to know concerning your problem. Assuming that you are a normal couple and that you have already discovered that you like each other very much, the phrase, "no thought of immediate mar- riage," presents a dilemma that you are trying not to face squarely. Couple Must Not Deceive Themselves hY continue to deceive yourself? If you follow your natural inclinations and begin to see more of-each other, there will be "thought of immediate marriage," f r a normal young couple of your :ge cannot enjoy frequent and intimate association for long without experiencing that insistent emotional involvement (love) which craves permanent union in marriage. If you wish to maintain a workable friendship, that is, a relationship that will not place you under excessive tension and stress, you must regulate your dating and other contacts accordingly. It is relative!y easy to accept these statements in theory, or as they apply to other couples, and yet to ignore their per- sonal implications in practice. That's why I have warned you about self-deception. Don't argue that since you both accept the fact that there can be no thought of marriage for the next three years, there is no danger that you will become deeply involved through more frequent dating. You can't have it beth ways, and I think that you know it. If you analyze your attitudes a Htfle mdre objectively you will probably find that you don't accept this "no thought of immediate marriage" as a guiding principle in your relationships. Although you may not wish to admit it even to yourself perhaps, for such an admission would imply rejection of the plans you and Bill have agreed upon, you are really quite willing to take a chance on an earlier marriage. Avoiding Further Involvement onsidered in this light, Bill's approach appears much more logicaL I feel that knowingly or. unknowingly he is using his sense of family loyalty as a convenient means of avoiding deeper involvement. He is not in a position to think realistically of immediate marriage, yet he likes you and probably senses that he cannot run the risk of seeing you too often if he wishes to complete his graduate studies before marriage. Under the circumstances he fmds it difficult to provide a good excuse for not spending more time with you and prudently concludes that his obligations to his parents offer as good an escape as any other. What should you do? You have two possibilities. You may dcide that a delay of three years is too difficult or too much of a gamble. This would mean that you break up the relationship and start dating others. This is a reasonable solution and should involve no bitter- hess -- you simply face the fact that as a couple you cannot think realisti:ally about marriage for a long time to come, so that promoting further mutual involvement at present is meaningless. You may decide to continue dating. This means that you honestly accept all the implications of a three-year delay. Stop insisting on more frequent associa- tion, for Bill will either tire of arguing with you and break off the affair himself, or he will give in, and then you will have to come to terms with premature emotional involement. Don't deceive yourself, immediate marriage will not be a solution. Bill will not later forgive you for interfering with his adequate preparation for life. More important, he is not ready for marriage until he has completed his studies, as all too many couples who mar- ried prematurely are discovering too late. "LAYMEN" Earn in your spare hours Cathol;c Press Publ;cet;ons extends an lnv;tet;on fo you o fill your spare hours with most seHsfy;ng work. Many start part time and eventua[ly go fulJ time. Your hours are your own. Work entirely from Jeeds. YD. Den eJmost double your Tem;[y ;naome. We train you. Wdte or Phone Catholic Press Publications ME 3.2006 P.O. Box 7464 Seattle THE SIGN OF GOOD FOOD . . . YOUR ASSURANCE OF SAVINGS 70 Stores la hstorn & Western Woshlngton .To Serve You